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The Rangers beat up some skeletons who came out of a vase. The curator of the British Museum asks them to deliver a letter to Paris.


The smoke from the vase forms into 4 skeletons, one of which has a floating blue flame crown and holds two scimitars. The other three skeletons have broadswords.

A fight ensues, with the party easily dispatching the skeletons. Although Brutor and Bertie are injured during the battle, the King Skeleton is eventually slain by Zolf. As the final skeleton explodes, it damages nearby displays.

Elijah takes Bertie to one side, explaining that they could take money from the Carter expedition but they would still need at least 4,000 gold that the MacGuffingham family owe the Museum. As the party discuss their finances, two well dressed gnomes appear through the door, although Bertie denies any knowledge of them. The gnomes walk towards the party and ask Bertie if they can assist financially. They ask if there was any imminent danger to those nearby, and he confirms they would have been. They ask Sasha if she considers herself a damsel in distress, and seem convinced by her babbling that she is. They write a cheque and hand it to the museum curator before leaving, saying that Bertie owes them.

Hamid, distressed about all the secrets in the party, confesses that he was kicked out of University, but doesn't explain why. Zolf asks Bertie if this will impact the group, but Bertie says nothing will affect the group or his work therein.

The party heads off to the bank. As they leave the Museum, the curator asks if they are heading to Paris, and asks if they could make a small delivery for the Museum. He explains that The Ordinateurs have developed the Rosetta Program to break hieroglyphics and gives them the address to deliver the package to.

The curator says that he will alert the papers to what has happened at the Museum, and the party suggest that their group name should be 'The Rangers'. The party head off to the bank.


Bertie: "Any accusation that I am being followed by gnomes is on the side of extreme paranoia!"
Zolf: "Are they lawyers? They’re lawyers aren’t they?"
Sasha: "There’s nothing to be ashamed of if you’re being followed by people, just tell us so we can do something about it."
Bertie: "Oh goodness me is that the time? Oh look! A bee!"
―Bertie masterfully distracts the team from the gnomes following him around.

Hamid: "I just, I feel like we’ve met Sasha’s maybe slightly evil family, Zolf has this weird ring that he doesn’t want to talk about, Bertie has these mysterious lawyers…I should probably just say right now, I got kicked out of university, because then it won’t be a surprise when it somehow comes along very soon."
Sasha: "Well, we’ve all got our dark pasts, Hamid."
Zolf: "What were you kicked out for?"
Hamid: "I don’t wanna talk about it."
Zolf: "I’m glad we’ve now established that we’ve all got some dark secret we’re keeping."
Bertie: "I don’t have a dark secret at all. Look! A distraction!"
―Hamid carefully avoids sharing his tragic backstory.

Dice rolls and Mechanics[]

  • Everyone makes a Perception roll: Hamid gets 25, Sasha gets 19, Bertie gets 17, Zolf gets 16
  • Zolf converts advanced scurvy into cure light wounds: Bertie gets 9 hit points back
  • Bertie makes a pomp and pageantry Diplomacy check: 13
  • Hamid prestidigitates everyone clean. 

Combat Breakdown[]

Initiative: Skeleton 1, Hamid, king skeleton, skeleton 2, skeleton 3, Sasha, Bertie, Zolf, Brutor

Round 1

  • Skeleton 1: Attacks Sasha with a broken scimitar but misses.
  • Hamid: Backs off behind Zolf and casts magic missile on the skeleton that attacked Sasha. He deals 3 damage.
  • King Skeleton: Charges Bertie and hits on a nat 20, but doesn't confirm the crit. It deals 4 damage, and then the second attack misses. 
  • Skeleton 2: Attacks Brutor, missing.
  • Skeleton 3: Attacks Zolf, missing.
  • Sasha: Attacks skeleton 1. The first attack misses with a 2. The second attack hits on an 18, but deals no damage.
  • Bertie: Roars at the king skeleton, draws his new magic sword, provoking an attack of opportunity which misses. Bertie swings and hits on an 18, dealing 10 damage.
  • Zolf: Steps between two of the skeletons and considers casting advanced scurvy, but it only affects living creatures. He casts burning disarm on the one closest to Hamid and it quickly goes up in flames, dealing 4 damage as it collapses into a pile of dust. He provokes two attacks of opportunity but they both miss. 
  • Brutor: Attacks a skeleton but fails.

Round 2

  • Hamid: Casts magic missile at the skeleton in front of Zolf. He deals 4 damage and the skeleton is destroyed.
  • King Skeleton: Attacks Bertie, but misses both times.
  • Skeleton 2: Attacks Brutor, dealing 5 damage.
  • Sasha: Flanks skeleton 2 and attacks, hits on a 16 and deals 6 damage, destroying it.
  • Bertie: Attempts to make a Power Attack, which triggers the King Skeleton to attack. The first attack misses but the second hits, dealing 8 damage. The Power Attack misses on a 13.
  • Zolf: Moves toward the King Skeleton and attacks it, hitting on a 20. He deals 8 damage, causing the creature to drop its scimitars.
  • Brutor: Flees and cowers beneath a statue.

Round 3

  • Hamid: Casts magic missile at the king skeleton, dealing 5 damage and crippling it. 
  • King Skeleton: Turns around and swings at Zolf. It misses on the first claw attack but the second hits, dealing 3 damage.
  • Sasha: Sneaks behind the King Skeleton and attacks but misses on a 12.
  • Bertie: Makes another Power Attack, critically failing, damaging Bertie's gauntlet, reducing his combat prowess (he takes a -1 penalty on attack rolls until he rolls a crit in this encounter).
  • Zolf: Starts to attack the King Skeleton, but it gets an attack of opportunity. Both of its claw attacks miss. Zolf stabs the King Skeleton and hits on a 17, dealing 5 damage. Zolf finally destroys the creature.


Plot Notes[]

This section contains spoilers from season 3.
  • Elijah mentions that they can take the money intended for the Carter expedition to pay for the damages to the exhibit. The party eventually meet Howard Carter in episode 92, as he is drinking at a dive bar and bemoaning the cancellation of his expedition.