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A riot breaks out in Dover, which Bertie calms by shouting really loudly.


The party head down to the White Cliffs of Dover. The cliffs have been carved into Poseidon's face, and form the entrance way to the Temple of Poseidon.

The party approach the guards and Zolf decides that he will just make things worse. Sasha notices that the mob are getting more rowdy and the situation may be about to escalate. Hamid charms the crowd, whilst Bertie intimidates them. This doesn't help very much as someone throws a stone at the guard. Hamid moves through the crowd and casts prestidigitation on the man who threw the stone, making his clothes glow in the dark. Bertie terrifies several people in the crowd and has something thrown at him. Sasha melts through the crowd to get to Hamid, grabbing the halfling and trying to drag him out of the mob.

A yellow monochrome drawing of Bertie, a white human male who is standing in full plate armor that has designs of falcons on each shoulder plate and on each poleyn. His hands are on his hips and he's holding Brutor, a small pug dog, inside a papoose on his chest. There are faint diamond shapes floating around him.

Bertie carrying Brutor in his papoose. Art by @blazing-spectre on tumblr. Used with permission.

Hamid causes sparks to appear to distract the crowd and Zolf casts obscuring mist, but it doesn't stop the mob getting rowdier. Sasha loses Hamid in the crowd, and someone throws a rock at Bertie's head. Hamid and Sasha try to reach each other as Zolf gets out of the crowd. Bertie attacks a few of the men before shouting at the crowd to sit down, critically intimidating them.

The head guard beckons Bertie over and shakes his hand, giving him a reward. The Rangers indicate the rabble rousers who are arrested. The head guard notices they are The Rangers, recognising them from the Other London escapade. They are led back to the Officer's Mess, with Brutor happily going along as Bertie carries him in his papoose.


Bertie: "Ladies and gentlemen, unaccustomed as I am to public speaking, I have noticed a disturbance around me and it is making me very cross indeed. Settle down. You there, I see you, sit down! You there, over there, you sit down as well. You there, you, I see you, you sit down on that one. There is a thin line defending civilization from anarchy, and you have all breached it! You have made this a dotted line. I suggest that you all settle down before I shove you through the perforations in this narrow line that defends civilization from chaos. You think this is chaos, ladies and gentlemen, look at the rain that I would bring upon your face to break every bone in your body. The smallest bones in the human body are in the inner ear, ladies and gentlemen, the hammer, anvil and stirrup, you think of the danger I am presenting to them now with voice alone. Think how it might be augmented by fists, by headbutts, by this sword!" (Raises his sword and slices through the air. A sudden burst of lightning across the sky and a roll of thunder perfectly emphasizing his words.) "You hear that? That is as nothing to what I would do to you and your extended families and everyone you have ever loved unless you sit right down, right now, in a stack."
―Bertie shouts down a riot.

Sasha: "Hamid! Hamid, where are you? Hamid! I’ve lost him. Has anyone seen a halfling? He looks like a child but he’ll always be going towards danger like an idiot. Have you seen a tiny idiot? Anyone?"
―Sasha loses Hamid in the crowd.

Dice rolls and Mechanics[]

  • Everyone makes a Perception check to notice the riot kicking up: Sasha gets 24, Bertie gets 12, Zolf gets "no", Hamid gets 18
  • Bertie makes an Intimidate check with Pomp and Pageantry: 21
  • Hamid makes a Diplomacy check: 13
  • Hamid casts prestidigitation to turn the rioter's tunic orange.
  • Hamid makes an Acrobatics check to get through the crowd: 19
  • Bertie makes a Strength check to push his way through the crowd: 11
  • Bertie makes an Intimidate check with Pomp and Pageantry: 24
  • Sasha makes an Acrobatics check with Crowd Dodger to get to Hamid: 20
  • Sasha makes an Acrobatics check with Crowd Dodger to pull Hamid through the crowd: 16
  • Hamid makes an Escape Artist check to get away from Sasha: 11
  • Hamid casts prestidigitation to make fireworks appear. 
  • Zolf casts obscuring mist over the crowd - Hamid gets rid of the fireworks.
  • Bertie makes a Sense Motive check on the man he's intimidating: 16
  • Sasha makes an Acrobatics check to get Hamid out of the crowd, with Hamid assisting: Sasha gets 18, Hamid gets 19

Combat Breakdown[]

Initiative: Bertie (20), Hamid (18), Zolf (15), Sasha (11)

Round 1

  • Someone throws a rock at Bertie, but it misses.
  • Bertie: Attacks the man who threw the stone at him, hitting on a 24 and dealing 12 damage.
  • Hamid: Heads toward one of the people glowing in the dark.
  • Zolf: Lights a torch, yells that there's a way out, and starts to head out of the crowd. Some people run toward Zolf, notice who it is, and then curve away.
  • Sasha: Shouts for Hamid, but just attracts someone from the crowd. She sneaks around him with a Stealth check of 18 and escapes him.

Round 2

  • Bertie: Swings again at the man, hitting on an 18 and dealing 7 damage to him.
  • Hamid: Casts charm person on the glow in the dark man, which fails as he makes his Will save.
  • The glow in the dark man clobbers Hamid, dealing 2 damage.
  • Zolf: Runs backward, shouting "There's a way out over here!"
  • Sasha: Looks for Hamid, calling his name. Hamid hears her with a Perception check of 15, and they find each other. She makes an Acrobatics roll with crowd dodger, rolling a 15, but is unable to get to him. 
  • The man who Bertie hit tries to get away, but fails. Zolf sees naval police arriving from the outside, with a Perception check of 19.

Round 3

  • Bertie: Doesn't hear Sasha calling for Hamid, rolling a 5 on his Perception check, and moves toward the front of the crowd, ploughing through the mob with a Strength check of 18.
  • Hamid: Tries to get to Sasha, but struggles, only rolling a 14 on the Acrobatics check.
  • Someone swings at Hamid, missing.
  • Zolf: Puts out his torch. He notices that the mist is starting to disperse on a Perception check of 12.
  • Sasha: Tries to find Hamid, rolling a 25 on Perception, and finally reaches Hamid on an Acrobatics check (with crowd dodger) of 25. 
  • The naval guards don't let anyone leave, but tell them to calm down.

Round 4

  • Bertie: Makes an Intimidate check on the whole riot to stop them fighting and gets a nat 20 for a total of 28.