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Summary[]

Now in France, Zolf, Sasha, and Hamid hitch a lift with two drunken women in motorcars. The one carrying Hamid arrives first. Bertie battles the bureaucracy of the French train system, and manages to get to the most expensive hotel in Calais, C'est, at the same time as Hamid. The halfling allows his university friend into the hotel first.

Synopsis[]

The Ex-Nautical Rangers[]

Zolf pushes the driftwood boat back out to sea. Using a compass, he realises that they are south of Calais. Sasha manages to communicate with a French local, and they head into a tavern.

Doris and Sandra, two female elves, stand side by side. They each wear big flowery sun hats. Doris wears a pearl necklace with long white gloves, a short fur vest, an ankle length black dress with black heels. Sandra wears a small pearl necklace, black gloves, a long orange fur coat with a #1 ribbon pinned on the left side of it. She also wears a long ankle length black dress with black heels. There's a speech bubble from Doris that reads: I Tell yooooou!!! I'm gonna beat you on the next leg!

Doris and Sandra. Art by @skraak on tumblr. Used with permission.

Inside, two loud and drunken English speaking ladies are at the bar, Hamid immediately befriends them. The party convince the two ladies to take them to Calais, and all five of them speed off to the city. The car with Sasha and Zolf in skids off the road, leaving Hamid to continue towards Calais. Zolf and Sasha hitch a ride with Doris before Hamid crashes and arrives nearby C'est, finding Bertie.

Bertie and Brutor's Bracing Battle Against Bureaucracy[]

Bertie, covered in grime from the tunnels, grabs a key from the unconscious guard, and unlocks the gate. All the French civilians descend into panic, as Bertie equips his armour. The French police arrive with riot shields, Bertie explains about the stranded train, and the head of the police leaves.

Later, Bertie is taken aside by a customs officer who gets his story, and who agrees to let Bertie go if he can provide a ticket. Bertie does not have a ticket. The customs officer agrees to contact the ticket officer in Dover and asks for Bertie's contact number. Bertie gets a cab to the most expensive hotel in Calais: C'est. He carries a halfling on the way to guide him, causing the surrounding Parisians to laugh at him. He arrives at the hotel at the same time as Hamid, who graciously allows him to enter the hotel first.

Quotes[]

Zolf: "Thank you for coming with me. It means a lot."
Hamid: "Don’t know how much I helped, but…"
Zolf: "That’s arguably not the point."
Hamid: "Okay."
Zolf: "Thank you."
―Zolf thanks Hamid for crossing the channel with him.

Zolf: "I said it to Hamid last night while you were passed out. Thank you for coming with me."
Sasha: "That’s alright. Thank you for diving after me, that was pretty nice. Even if I did have to swim up."
Zolf: "Well, it’s the thought that counts."
Sasha: "Yeah, and the hovering stepping stone thing that saved our lives, that counts."
―Zolf thanks Sasha for crossing the channel with him.

Hamid: "It’s probably a private vehicle, I would think, but we can see."
Sasha: "I can deal with that, if that’s the obstacle."
Hamid: "I don’t think that would be a good way to make a first impression in a new country, Sasha."
Zolf: "I was in custody yesterday, so let’s not steal the shiny, very expensive car."
―Sasha is fascinated by the cars outside the pub in Calais.

Customs Officer: "What capacity are you here in?"
Bertie: "Hero!"
―Bertie tries to get past customs in Dover.

Dice rolls and Mechanics[]

  • Zolf makes a Survival check to figure out where they are: 17
  • Bertie makes a Perception check in the station: 18
  • Bertie makes an Intimidate check with pomp and pageantry on the stationmaster: nat 20
  • Hamid rolls to flirt: 24
  • Hamid makes a Diplomacy check to convince Doris and Sandra to take them to Calais: 15
  • Bertie makes a Strength check to snap the desk: 20
  • Bertie makes a Perception check to notice people laughing at him: 18
  • Bertie makes a Perception check at the newsstand: 6
  • Hamid makes a Reflex save as the car careens: 13. He takes three damage as his head hits the dashboard.
  • Hamid casts prestidigitation on Bertie to clean him up.
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