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The party continue to try and find a way out of Paris. The gang fools around on a roof, and then in an aeroport.


The party and Wilde are still trying to escape Paris. The archer Sasha runs into on the roof is kitted out in full combat gear; she notices a number of other people rushing across the rooftops. Sasha takes care of the archer and then ducks back into the room. She tells Hamid to slap Bertie across the face and he does, hesitantly. Bertie wakes up, yelling about a nightmare, and tries to go charging back up the stairs until Sasha steps in front of him.

Sasha, Hamid, and Bertie head out of the building and catch up with Zolf and Wilde in the alleyway. Zolf says they’ve been seen and they need to get out of there immediately. Sasha asks Wilde where they need to go next; there aren’t many options, but they decide to go to the aeroport. Bertie shoves a pipe through the manhole cover to keep the cover down. Wilde leads the way down the street in a new direction; everyone follows him, and Hamid remains at the back.

There’s definitely something going on. Wilde is being incredibly cautious, but takes the time to explain what is going on. Thankfully, whatever had hit him is finally letting up and he’s starting to actually act more like himself. He describes that they need to get out of Paris because the Meritocrats are worried that the American separatists have gotten the simulacrum plans and are trying to take a shot at the Meritocrats. It’s known that Tesla, Babbage and Ada have all defected to America, although it isn’t known if they are with the separatists. Basically, the goal for the party is to go and find weaknesses – what could they use to stop it sweeping across Europe and farther.

(Just for background: the Americas are in the process of being colonized, and have permission from the Meritocrats to set up shop on the east coast. The separatists are a subset of this group.)

Hamid agrees to go along with the plan as long as someone handles the problems still in Paris; Wilde says that Guivres is making a move and will be taking down Eiffel’s Folly to handle the problems caused by La Gourmande. Zolf says they’ll need to evacuate people, but they’ve barely seen any civilians. Wilde says they need to get to Prague and the party agrees to go; he also gives money to Zolf for purchasing equipment and armour.

Bertie is still enamored with the idea of the circlet of command and wants to be sure that it’s going to be able to be forwarded to him, which Wilde tries to discourage. Everyone decides to move forward very carefully. It’s still the middle of the night, so as they creep forward it starts to become dawn again. There’s a torrential downpour that hasn’t lessened at all, and as they get to a wide open square Wilde pulls them to a stop. The aeroport is right across the square, but they’re wide open and need to make it across in one piece. Sasha makes sure her spring-loaded wrist sheathes are ready, Hamid loads his crossbow.

They all cross the square together; Hamid is hiding behind Bertie. There are many people at the other end of the square, clearly fighting, but no one’s spotted them yet because they’re hidden by the rain. Zolf asks Wilde if he can cast a spell to help him, and Wilde says yes, snapping as he recites some verse. A giant, winged shadow flies through the clouds and people start screaming as it swoops, and the entire party along with Wilde runs toward the aeroport. He controls the dragon as they run; it’s clear to Hamid that Wilde is incredibly skilled, probably as high as someone still in the field would be. There’s the sound of another explosion in front of them but none of them feel the heat or explosion, and run into the aeroport.

There’s a faint buzz as they run through the “damaged” wall illusion and they make it into the aeroport, discussing who will be able to fly it if they do find one. Sasha and Bertie are willing to try, and Zolf ignores Bertie to talk to Sasha about it. They walk around looking for the gyrocopters; Zolf casts two Icicles through a window to get into the airfield. Glass explodes everywhere; everyone apart from Zolf dodges, and Zolf takes 10 damage from the glass. Rain and wind from the tumultuous storm outside blow into the foyer that they’re standing in. They all head through the window onto the airfield.

The airfield is a huge expanse of space in front of them with a number of hangars off to the left. There’s a lot of movement off to the right; they all head off to the hangars on the left and Wilde follows, looking exhausted. Everyone is struggling to see, but Hamid is able to see three hangars – all three have their fronts open, and he can see a dismantled thing through the first door, cannot see to the other two. They continue running, at Hamid’s direction, to the next hangar. It’s chock-full of equipment and pallets and 5 gnomes who are shuttling crates from the middle hangar to the third hangar. Bertie recognizes the jumpsuits on the gnomes as an archaic transport emblem for an old transport guild that declared free transport for all. It never really got anywhere.

Bertie addresses the gnomes and they immediately drop the crates and start sprinting back toward the third hangar. The entire party gives chase, but Sasha is the only one quick enough to catch up with them. She dives for one gnome, and he tumbles and takes out a second gnome as they collapse on the ground. The other gnomes book it. Hamid yells that they can pay and the other three gnomes come back and ask to see the money. Zolf pulls out the gold that Wilde gave him for the equipment and the gnome makes a pass for it. He successfully snatches the bag and Bertie immediately slaps the bag out of his hands, scattering jewels and gold on the floor that Zolf quickly scoops up.

Hamid asks how much for the tickets, the gnome says half the bag. Bertie picks the gnome up by the neck and says a quarter of the bag; Zolf makes a new deal and says none of the bag, but the gnomes get to keep their lives. Bertie continues carrying the gnome by the neck and Sasha still holds the one she tackled as they head toward the third hangar. Hamid pays 500g to the gnome to cover their tickets and they head into the hangar, getting out of the rain. As they step in, they see an amazing airship – it looks like a full-size retrofitted ship with engines on the back and the front, with large chemical tanks strapped to the side.

The gnomes are all loading the ship up with crates and the gnome that Hamid paid leads them up a makeshift gangplank. They all go up the gangplank (Bertie gets craned onto the boat) and Zolf has a very grim look on his face while Sasha is smiling. They’re greeted by the captain who had been behind the wheel, with a fun hat, a very ostentatious captain’s hat with pilot goggles. They gnome is very short and slight, and they pull off their goggles to reveal a female gnome who has both a rapier and a gun, and the episode closes on the party saying “Hello!”


"Hi everyone, Alex here with a quick…confession. You might notice when listening to today’s episode that the number in the introduction is a bit…wrong. Now, don’t worry, we didn’t release the wrong episode or anything and there’s a perfectly simple explanation. I’m an idiot, and I forgot how to count. Sooo…yeah. My bad. Anyway, I hope you enjoy today’s episode because I am never gonna live it down."

Alex: "Did you sigh when you got a 27 on a Perception check? You need to lower your standards!"
Lydia: "No, no! I, I think I just sighed in general, like ... I mean, y'know life these days ... it's just sometimes I don't really want to know what's going on, sometimes I don't even check Twitter for almost five minutes."
Sasha attempts to see what's going on on the roof.

Bryn: "That die has been doing significant work for you in the last couple of episodes."
Lydia: "Remember that she has an Acrobatics bonus of 11, like—"
Bryn: "No, I know, but you, you also haven't rolled below 14 yet."
Alex: "Just throwing it out there, I mean I haven't rolled higher than a 9 for, um, Wilde the entire time he's been with you guys."
―[add context]

"You awake! What's more—it's now your turn! Congratulations, you only had to wait a whole episode but it's your turn!"

Alex: "Stop announcing! Stop announcing when you're going to attack! Gah! Basic stuff!"
Ben: "Yup."
Lydia: "Shouldn't have given that half-hour lecture on my motivations, exactly what I'm going to do with the laser to the moon..."
James: "Why did I write my evil plan in a large volume, recorded my struggle and have it published all across France? Why did I do that? Why?"
―[add context]

Bertie: "I also need equipment!"
Wilde: "Bertie, as, as sad as it makes you, your, your equipment is more than adequate."
Bertie: "Yes, that's quite—oh hang on."
Wilde provides funds to the team for equipment.

"I can Disable Device this, so why on earth could I not enable—"

Alex: "Everyone else, seeing an enormous amount of glass falling to the ground and shattering everywhere... let's just say, Bertie closes his helmet and everyone goes in single file behind him. Zolf, you don't do that."
Ben: "No... I just keep going, "Busy busy busy...""
Zolf throws two icicles at a window, sending glass everywhere.

"Okay, new deal—uh, none of that bag, but you'll get to keep your lives! Let's go everyone!"

Alex: "What is is, is a ship. It looks a full sized ship, and it looks like someone has retrofitted an actual ship."
Lydia: "#steampunk!"
―The party comes across an airship.

Ben: "How big is their hat?"
Alex: "Their hat is... (rolls dice) 12 large, which is... within the realms of reasonable, but still—"
Bryn: "Impractical."
James: "Does this have some sort of mechanical effect?"
Ben: "No, I just, I just really wanted the sky captain to have a really big hat."
Bryn: "It's how, it's how you measure importance on a boat, it's the size of someone's hat."
Ben: "Admirals just end up with, like, other boats on their head."
―The airship captain has a large hat.

Dice rolls and Mechanics[]

Sasha rolls perception to see what’s going on on the roof: 27.

They all make a stealth check (ongoing): Bertie gets a -3, Sasha gets a 15, Zolf gets a 15, Hamid gets a 12.

They all make a stealth check to cross the square: Bertie gets a 2, Sasha gets a 16, Zolf gets a 7, Hamid gets a 25.

Sasha makes an appraise check on the dragon Wilde conjured: 19

Hamid and Zolf roll knowledge arcana: Hamid gets 28, Zolf gets a 7

Hamid casts detect magic – takes ten.

They all make reflex saves to dodge glass: Hamid gets a 21, Bertie gets an 18, Sasha gets a 17, Zolf gets a 6

Everyone makes a perception check to look for gyrocopters: Bertie gets a nat 20, Zolf gets a 14, Sasha gets a 12, Hamid gets a 20

Everyone makes a perception check at the hangar: Bertie gets a 4, Zolf gets a 6, Sasha gets a 14, Hamid gets a 24

Bertie and Zolf make knowledge history rolls to see where the gnomes work; Sasha makes knowledge local: Bertie gets a nat 20, Zolf gets a 12, Sasha gets a 14

Sasha gives a combat maneuver check: nat 20

Zolf makes a reflex save to not have the gold stolen: 5

Combat Breakdown[]

Initiative rolls (from last session): Bertie gets 9, Zolf gets 18, Hamid gets 6, and Sasha gets 8.

The person Zolf rushed runs away. The person who opened the grate has a face full of Zolf’s water legs and then ducks back in the sewers.

Sasha attempts to tumble through the archer’s legs, and successfully does on a 26. She ducks down and throws a Tanglefoot bag – hits on a nat 20. Successfully incapacitates the person on the roof.

Hamid slaps Bertie across the face; Bertie wakes up.

Bertie moves to run up the stairs; Sasha blocks him.

Zolf readies an action to stab the man in the sewers when he pops up.

The person in the sewers pops up again; Zolf rolls a 2 on the attack and misses, the person ducks back down.

Sasha drops another smokestick and tells everyone to follow her.

Hamid holds his action to make sure Bertie is running in the right direction.

Bertie follows the direction Hamid is pointing.

Hamid runs after them.

Zolf sits on the sewer grate top.

They drop out of initiative.

Plot Notes[]