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Summary[]

Grizzop and Azu take on the Grumps of the Pharaoh. Sasha has their back. Hamid continues to work on his father.

Synopsis[]

Azu and Grizzop are still in the middle of the bar fight, while Sasha is hidden in the shadows. Azu tries intimidating the crowd, but isn’t very good at it. She says that if the thugs don’t step back, she and Grizzop will de-leg the rest of them. A thug from the back yells to get them before they get your legs. Sasha realizes that the paladins people are talking about are Grizzop and Azu. 

Back to Hamid: his father has worked things out with the manager. The manager is okay with Saleh sacrificing himself in place of his son, and the deal looks like it will be going through. His father is holding up under the strain, but his face is very hard. It seems as though the conversation is building up to a long one. Hamid’s invisibility only lasts five minutes, so once the time has run out, he just lets the spell fade. He secretes himself in the corner so that they aren’t paying attention to him, and the spell wears off. 

The manager and his father are talking; the manager notices Hamid first, looks shocked, and then mouths “what’s going on” at Hamid. Saleh hasn’t noticed yet. Hamid frowns and gives him a tiny shake of his head. The manager apologizes and tells Saleh that Hamid is in the room. 

Saleh puts down the pen and turns to face Hamid; his face is slowly getting redder and redder, and he is absolutely furious. Hamid looks over at the manager and asks if he can give them a moment. Before Saleh can say anything, the manager takes the cue and leaves, shutting the door behind him. Saleh explodes at Hamid, asking why he’s doing this, asking why he’s there, and Hamid just goes over and hugs him. Saleh backs away, telling Hamid to get out, and saying that he needs to fix the family. While Hamid is hesitating, Saleh picks up a chair, slams it against the wall, and again yells at Hamid to get out. Hamid says no. Saleh comes up right in front of him and the veins in his head are throbbing as he again tells Hamid that he needs to fix this. His hands are clenching and unclenching.

Hamid tells his father that he’s doing a great thing and that he’s never had as much respect for him as he does now. He says that Saleh needs his help; Saleh turns away. Hamid's body language is incredibly deferential. Saleh finally relaxes his hands, and his shoulders drop, and he starts breathing again. He asks Hamid what he wants to suggest, and Hamid asks his father to let Hamid support him, and let him be a part of the family. Hamid says that he’s willing to follow his father’s lead, admitting that he’s made some mistakes in the past, but he wants his father to see the man he’s become. He asks his father to trust him, and explains that Saleh is falling apart under the pressure but that if this is his father’s plan, he won’t be there to pick up the pieces afterwards. If his father is going to take the fall, Hamid will handle the other half of the situation with Saleh, his brother. He again asks his father to let him help. 

Back at the bar, combat has ended and Azu has successfully scared everyone off. Grizzop uses multiple Lay on Hands to reattach one leg of the man he unintentionally de-legged. He drags the man by the shoulders toward the barman when he's done, and instructs the barman to get him a healer. Sasha’s drunken friend bursts onto the scene, gin bottle in one hand and a bin lid in the other. He’s spinning around, yelling incoherently. Azu goes up and tells him that it’s all okay, but the man starts yelling about how all of this is his fault because he’s cursed. He says that he’s the reason for all the terrible things happening to Cairo, including the sandstorms. Azu is trying to calm him down, but he’s still going on and on about the curse and is beating his own chest. She wraps her arms around him in a bear hug, and says that it will be alright. 

Back to Hamid and Saleh: they’ve been working out their game plan going forward. Saleh’s original plan was a last-ditch attempt. When the Meritocrats decided to use the bank as their own personal vault, it came with a no wiggle room policy. His father has tried to cover up debts before; when it was Hamid, it still counted as an accident, but this is beyond that now, and it’s on Meritocratic grounds, so this was his father’s final attempt at fixing it. Hamid explains the entire situation with his brother and Barret, and that Hamid has dealt with Barret before. He says that if his father can deal with the meritocratic side of things, then Hamid can deal with Barret. What it comes down to is that his father needs to take the fall for his brother, and hope that Saleh (his brother) doesn’t do anything to mess it up. He doesn’t have anything else.

Hamid explains that what Saleh needs (and what Hamid needed) is to be given responsibility. All of their mistakes have always been fixed. He proposes that Saleh could become head of the family in place of their father, and that, surrounded by the right people, he could do a good job. This level of responsibility and understanding the sacrifice that their father is making will help Saleh grow up. The manager came in at some point and was told not to come back, but he did warn that they’ll need to notify the authorities. 

At some point, his father has taken his jacket off and loosened his tie, and is looking significantly more haggard. Hamid still looks immaculate. Saleh says that he understand where Hamid is coming from, but that his son still killed someone. He doesn’t want him going into Meritocratic custody, but that he can’t reward him with a position in the company. Hamid agrees. Saleh says that Saira can take over, and Hamid asks if she’ll be willing to leave her current job and work for the family again. Saleh says that, as a representative of Apophis, she’s the best option that they have to head the family. Hamid admits that she would do an incredible job. Saleh explains that he isn’t going to make this completely disappear: Saira will head the family, and Hamid will need to make arrangements to keep his brother away and make sure he doesn’t hurt anyone else while Saleh takes the Meritocratic sentence. Hamid agrees to go along with the plan. He goes to hug his father again, and Saleh steps back again, but does offer Hamid a hand for a handshake. It’s not a power move, or anything. Hamid pauses for a moment, slightly disappointed, but then shakes hands with him, as equals. 

Back to the pub: since everyone else has fled, Sasha is left standing there in the middle of the floor. She grabs a miraculously unspilled drink and sips it slowly. The bartender is handling the man who’s legs Grizzop shot off, and the entire place has become quiet as the staff start to clear up.  

A drawing of Sasha, a human woman with short black hair, and Grizzop, a male goblin. Sasha is standing with her mouth pursed and eyes looking straight forward. Grizzop's arms and legs are up around her midsection. His eyes are closed and mouth in an open smile and a blush on his cheeks. The words: Sasha! Sasha! Sasha! are behind them.

A drunk Grizzop hugs Sasha. Art by @areyouokaypanda on twitter. Used with permission.

Sasha finally speaks up, greeting the two of them, and Grizzop and Azu both excitedly greet her. Grizzop runs over and leaps up in a cheer. Azu is still embracing the drunken man; Grizzop jumps up and grabs Sasha in a weird spider hug, excited to see her (he’s still a bit buzzed). Sasha doesn’t react to the hug, and Grizzop drops off. She doesn’t sound that excited to see them, and Grizzop and Azu say that they were worried about her. She says she can handle herself, but Grizzop and Azu said that they don’t want to lose her, saying that friends stick together. Azu comes over, dragging the crying human along. Sasha says that it’s all just a lot, but that they’re right, and that she has a job to do and they should get back to it. Grizzop says that that wasn’t the point, and that they’re here for her because they care about her; Sasha says that they should make friends with people who are still going to be around. Grizzop counters that that’s not the reason, and pokes her in the thigh, saying that he cares about her because she’s her. Azu agrees; Sasha looks at her a little strangely, because they’ve only ever had one conversation, really. 

The drunken man says that he doesn’t deserve friends like them, and Azu announces that she found a new friend. Sasha says that she thinks he might know something about the weather, and Azu pulls him up, asking what he did with the weather. The man just says that everything is his fault again, and blames some curse. He starts beating his chest again and heads over to the nearest alcohol. Grizzop grabs Sasha while Azu starts to deal with the man; he turns her around and mentions that if she needs some time, she can take it. Sasha brushes him off, saying that they can just get back to the job. 

Azu is trying to calm the drunk man down, still, and gently starts to tap his face to try and get him back with it. Sasha pours her drink over the guy’s head, and he drops to his knees, saying that he deserves it, throwing his arms out to the sides. Azu says that he needs to pull himself together, and says that together, they can stop the world from being cursed, and asks him to explain.

Back at the bank: the manager comes back, and has a conversation with Saleh. Hamid, in a change of circumstance, is standing at his side instead of behind. The manager leaves, and returns with a number of Meritocratic agents, and his father is formally charged. He doesn’t give Hamid any sign of affection, but he does nod at Hamid, and it’s clear that the manager will be working with Hamid on this matter in the transition to Saira taking over. The manager starts walking through the paperwork with Hamid, and as it’s been completed, Hamid is free to go - but there’s a crowd waiting for him outside. He’s very friendly with the manager. 

Hamid heads out, and it’s utter chaos from the press. The city’s already in an uproar from the storms and Mr. Ceiling being shut off. Hamid gives a very generic statement, saying that the family has been through a lot and will be giving a more official statement soon. The guards escort him out and keep the crowd back. 

Back at the bar: the drunken man is asking what else he needs to explain, because he’s cursed. Sasha says he has everything to explain, and that she’s losing her patience. He says that of course she’s losing her patience, his only friend, and that it’s what he deserves. Throughout all of this, Grizzop is looking at the back of Sasha’s head in concern.  

Sasha says that they should just leave him here because he’s useless, but Azu says that he knows about the weather. Sasha asks if he does, or if he’s just drunk. Azu doesn’t want to leave him here, and Azu asks what his name is. The man stands up, clothing torn, and attempts a Byronic pose (slumped very drunkenly). He introduces himself as Howard Carter, renowned thanatologist and stenographer/coder, and says that he’s the cause of all that’s wrong in the world. He says that this is all his fault, and that he delved too deep, blaming the curse. Sasha says that she’s glad to finally meet the person behind it all, and Carter says that all he needed was the Rosetta translation, and that with his studies he could have finally exposed it. Grizzop starts to ask a question but Carter steamrolls over him saying that his funding has been cut, and he can’t translate the Rosetta stone, so he tried to do it alone but that it all went wrong. Grizzop leans over from behind Azu and asks if he knows anything about brain machines. Carter has no idea what he’s talking about, and says that the tomb has ruined the world, that he delved too deep below the dragon vaults, and that he deserves it. Sasha says that sounds like he does, since he did wrong and got punished for it. The episode ends on Carter moaning and groaning. 

Quotes[]

Alex: "And the party's almost not split three ways."
Lydia: "Eh, I mean it kinda is."
Helen: "So close."
Alex: "But it basically still is."
Bryn: "I dunno, like, I wouldn't say that out loud cause Lydia might decide that Sasha sneaks off without joining the fight."
Lydia: "Yeah ... she's only known these guys, like, a week."
Alex: "Look, I can magically, in the real world, summon one natural 1 per episode, I'm happy to use it on Sasha getting away. I used it on Ben to make sure that a bar brawl happened, and I'm happy to use it here to make sure Sasha doesn't get away."
Lydia: "It's one of his powers—his feats as a GM. Once you hit episode 90. On episode 30 he was just able to dodge thrown dice."
Alex: "I took Evade Plot. No, sorry that was what you did, isn't it?"
Bryn: "I tried, with repeated castings of invisibility. It couldn't save me for long enough."
―Episode introduction.

Alex: "I'm gonna take it as read that if you're aiming for his knees, you're probably not trying to immediately murder someone."
Lydia: "You amputate his leg by ..."
Alex: "You amputate both."
Lydia: "Oh my word."
Helen: "Do you have a thing about ..."
Alex: "I don't, he made this happen, this has all come from Ben, his characters, his attacks ..."
Ben: "Wait, no, hang on a minute! It's an arrow! Like, one maybe cause the critical but both?!"
Alex: "You absolutely annihilate this person and they drop."
Grizzop shoots a man in the legs, severing them at the knees.

Alex: "They both are bonked into oblivion. You have bonked them and both of them fall unconscious."
Lydia: "O-bonk-lion."
Alex: "Some people worried, 91 episodes in, maybe things will slow down, maybe the jokes won't be so quick and fast."
Lydia: "You got them—the wordplay you thought only James Ross had. But I'm bringing it!"
Ben: "Well, we bonk to differ!"
―[add context]

Ben: "Just shot a man's legs off ... didn't wanna shoot a man's legs off ..."
Alex: "Grizzop, you're up. You just shot a man's legs off."
―Grizzop shoots a man in the legs, severing them at the knees.

Azu: "If you do not ... step back ... we shall ... de-leg the rest of you! Ha ha!"
Random Thug: "Get 'em before they get your legs!"
Azu tries again to end the bar fight.

"Okay, Azu, I know you've only just started playing this character but it's time we really discuss what happens if you die. You take 2 damage from a bottle that someone throws from the back of the crowd. We'll get into death saves if there's any kind of issues."
Alex

"If there's a ringleader of any of the grumps, she's gonna come up behind them and hold a knife to their neck and say, "Call off your lads they're with me" ... except it's her so it's, "Stop it. All of this, make it stop.""
Lydia

Hamid: "You’re doing an amazing thing, and I am grateful, and I have never had as much respect for you as I do right now, but you need my help."
Saleh Sr: "What do you propose, Hamid?"
Hamid: "That you let me support you, that you let me be a part of this family, that you for once let anyone else in this family take on any responsibility. I will follow your lead, I will do what you ask me, if you keep me involved. I know that I was a stupid kid, I know that I’ve made my mistakes, but I want you to see the man I have become. Trust me. Saleh, was falling apart under the pressure and what you are doing is incredible. But if this is your plan, you won’t be there to help him afterwards. And this is not, unfortunately, the only problem he has created. If you are dealing with this one, then I will deal with the other part of the situation that he’s gotten himself into, and we need to be coordinated in those responses. Father, let me help you."
Hamid stands up to his father.

Bryn: "Do you have the Cleave feat?"
Helen: "Yes."
Ben: "Uh oh."
―[add context]

Alex: "Basically, everyone begins fleeing. They start beating up one another to get out faster? So actually, this starts turning almost into a brawl around you."
Bryn: "You know who isn't fleeing? The guy with no legs."
Grizzop: "Sorry, sorry! Sorry! Okay, right."
Alex: "Don't you talk to my characters. He wakes up and begins shuffling away."
Grizzop: "No! No, no, no, no, no, no, no! Don't move, don't move, it's gonna be really bad! Look, I'm trying to put them back! I'm trying to put them back!"
Azu: "Let him go, Grizzop."
Alex: "They begin yelling in a language that you do not speak."
Grizzop: "(falters) Aah!"
Alex: "Funnily enough, "Aagh!" is fairly universal."
Ben: "I'm just gonna try and get one more Lay on Hands. I'm pretty sure I can at least get one of them to stick."
―Grizzop attempts to reattach the man's legs he shot off.

Alex: "So, good news, bad news?"
Ben: "No, just good news please."
―[add context]

Grizzop: "Oh! Sasha!"
Azu: "Sasha, we found you!"
Ben: "I’m just gonna run straight towards you and leap up to be like, yeah!"
Sasha: "I mean, it’s good to know that when a woman wants a quiet drink…"
Ben: "Halfway through this sentence, unless you dodge, I plow into your chest and just grab you in sort of a weird sort of spider hug."
Lydia: "She doesn’t respond at all, she’s just standing there."
Ben: "So, I’m basically hanging off your chest going, “Sasha!”"
Alex: "It’s more than Hamid ever managed!"
Bryn: "Hamid respects people’s boundaries."
Ben: "Grizzop’s a bit drunk."
―A drunken Grizzop hugs Sasha upon finding her in the bar.

Grizzop: "We were worried about you, you just disappeared!"
Azu: "Yes, we were worried!"
Sasha: "I can handle myself."
Azu: "We couldn’t lose you!"
Grizzop: "Well, yeah, that’s like, I mean, well, not cause we thought you were in danger. Just cause…"
Sasha: "I was trying to have a drink."
Grizzop: "Friends…stick to…"
Azu: "Together."
Grizzop: "Together? Is that…did we…did we screw up?"
Sasha: "No, I just…I guess you guys didn’t…it’s just a lot. It’s a lot. But, you’re right, we’ve got a job to do."
Grizzop: "No, that wasn’t the point."
Sasha: "Let’s get back to the job."
Grizzop: "That wasn’t the point, we wanted to be here for you, cause you know, you’re a friend and we care. I’m not trying to fix it, we can’t fix it."
Sasha: "Look, I mean, you should probably spend your time making friends with people that are gonna be around…"
Grizzop: "I’m not in it for like, efficiency! That’s not" (pokes her in the thigh) "No, we care about you. That’s the point."
Azu: "Yes, you specifically."
Grizzop: "Cause you’re you."
Azu: "And you’re important."
―Azu and Grizzop try to explain that they care about Sasha.

Carter: "I don’t deserve friends like you."
Sasha: "I think the guy might know something about the weather."
Azu: "Do you know about the weather?"
Carter: "It’s all my fault, everything is my fault! Because the curse! The cuuuuuurse! The cuuuurse!  Whyyyyy!"
―Sasha introduces Azu and Grizzop to Howard Carter.

Grizzop: "If you need to take time, take time. Alright? Look, we didn’t come here to try to be like, you gotta get back to work. So, just don’t…we’re not…we’re not trying to force you, right?"
Sasha: "Work is…no, let’s get back to the job. I…let’s sort that out. It’s always good to get things done, isn’t it. What’s this curse, mate?"
Carter: "The cuuuuurse!"
Sasha: "Yeah, that one." (She pours her drink on his head.)
Carter: "It’s what I deserve! Whyyyyyyy! Why do I do these things!"
Azu: "You have to pull yourself together."
Carter: "Only so the world can tear me apart again!!!! Whyyyyy!"
―[add context]

Sasha: "Actually losing my patience, right?"
Carter: "Of course you would! The only friend I’ve ever had, taken from me in its prime! And it’s no better than I deserve!"
Sasha: "Well, I don’t think this guy is our responsibility and he doesn’t seem to have anything useful to tell us, so let’s go."
Azu: "But he knows about the weather."
Sasha: "Does he? Or is he a drunk?"
Azu: "I don’t feel right leaving him here. What is your name?"
Carter: "Howard Carter, thanotologist, world renowned stenographer, coder. And I…I am the cause of all that is wrong in the world. I brought this down! It is my fault. I delved tooooo much. And it’s all my fault. The curse, you see, the curse!"
Sasha: "It’s good to finally meet you, person that’s behind it all."
Carter: "I know! I know! All I needed was the Rosetta translation, with that I could have done my studies, and with the studies I could have finally exposed it but no! No! I can’t get my funding, someone takes that and just goes! I can’t get my Rosetta Stone because apparently it can’t be translated anymore, and so I try and do it without, don’t I? I try and dig around on my own and everything goes wrong!"
―Carter properly introduces himself.

Carter: "It’s the tomb! The tomb has ruined the world! It was hubris! I dared, I dared to delve beneath the very base of dragon vaults. I deserve it! I’m just sorry I took the world with me!"
Sasha: "Well, it’s good that that worked out for you then, that’s sorted. You did wrong and you got punished. That’s not usually how it works, mate, so I’m kind of glad that’s already wrapped up."
―[add context]


Dice rolls and Mechanics[]

  • Azu and Grizzop make a Sense Motive check: Azu gets 18, Grizzop gets 13.
  • Sasha makes a Perception check: 22.
  • Azu rolls a Diplomacy check: 20.

Combat Breakdown[]

Combat continued from previous episode.

Initiative: Grizzop (22), Azu (10), Grumps, Sasha (7)

Round 2

  • Grizzop: Leans out from behind the table and attacks his assailant's knees. He rolls a nat 20 and confirms the crit on the first attack, dealing 10 damage. He rolls an 18 on the second and deals 5 damage. The thug’s knees are basically amputated and they are incapacitated. Grizzop apologises very loudly, shocked.
  • Azu: Attacks the two thugs in front of her nonlethally. She rolls an 28 on the first and deals 9 nonlethal damage. She rolls 19 on the second and deals 12 nonlethal damage. Both the thugs are down.

Round 3

  • Grizzop: Drops his bow, runs to the thug he shot, grabs both his legs, and squishes them back together, using lay on hands. He heals him for 5 damage. The legs don’t reattach, but he does cure his hangover.
  • Azu: Attempts to Intimidate the crowd but rolls a nat 1. 
  • Grumps: One of the thugs throws a bottle at Azu and she takes 2 damage.
  • Sasha: Positions herself between Azu and Grizzop and the nearest exit. She grabs someone who looks like the ringleader and holds her knife to his throat, telling them to call their thugs off and that the paladins are with her. She makes an Intimidate check and gets 16.

Round 4

  • Grizzop: Lays on hands again and heals the thug for 4 damage.
  • Azu: Touches her face where the glass hit, says that hasn’t happened in a while, and then uses cleave, as she’s surrounded. She rolls a 23 on the first hit, 24 on the second, 15 on the third, 27 on the forth, 29 on the fifth, and then a nat 1 on the sixth. Five of the thugs just drop (Alex doesn’t make her roll damage). On the sixth, her axe crashes into a support beam, and as she pulls it back the ceiling caves in a bit.
  • Grumps: Everyone around her begin fleeing, beating each other up to get out faster. 
  • Sasha: Makes a successful Acrobatics check of 20 to not get swept away by the fleeing crowd.

Round 5

  • Grizzop: Lays on hands 3 times on the thug. He heals him for 19. He rolls one more time (10) and the legs finally reattach, but the thug won’t be walking away. Grizzop carefully drags him to a bartender and tells him to get a healer. 

Plot Notes[]

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