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Busts of the Rangers. Sasha, a pale human woman with a burn scar on the side of her face and short, messy black hair. She is surrounded by little doodles of eels, a dagger, and a bomb. To her right is Zolf, a pale dwarven man with curly blond hair and a beard in two plaits, with doodles of fish, a trident, and a necklace surrounding him. Below him is Hamid, an Egyptian halfling man with neatly parted, short black hair. Surrounding him are doodles of sparkles, a dollar sign, and a draconic claw. To his left is Bertie, a pale human man with short, swooshy blond hair and a moustache. Surrounding him are doodles of gold coins, a bastard sword, and Brutor.

The London Rangers (We're still working on the name). Art by @blazing-spectre on tumblr. Used with permission.

The London Rangers (We're Still Working on the Name) is the name of the mercenary group which comprises of the party. The Rangers are comprised of Zolf Smith who leads the group, Sir Bertrand "Bertie" MacGuffingham, Hamid Saleh Haroun al-Tahan and Sasha Racket.


Originally, Zolf's mercenary group consisted of him and Figgis. Bertie joined them afterwards after a rigorous interview where he bisected a table. They went off on a security job from Haringay to run security at the auction at Edison's Mansion. Later, after the auction was attacked by the arsonists, The Rangers hunted them down into Other London, where they retrieved parts of the dismantled Simulacrum and a Notebook.

Season 1: Crossing the Line[]

Haringay asked The Rangers to investigate the inventor of the Simulacrum. To this end, Lady Starling asked them to retrieve the plan for the Simulacrum for the Meritocrats. They follow six clues from the notebook.

Firstly, they head to one of the al-Tahan Bank branches in London to check if the Safety Deposit Key comes from there. It is the same as the other keys, but is for another branch, likely Cairo.

Afterwards, they go to Kew Gardens to find Mendeleev to ask about the metallic seed. After liberating the basement of Kew Mansion from magical plants, Mendeleev reveals that he's not able to determine the origin of the seed, but that he would investigate it.

Next, The Rangers head off to Dover to go to Paris. After Zolf is brought up before a nautical tribunal for being A.W.O.L., and then before the Cult of Poseidon, they head off to Calais: Bertie by train and the rest by driftwood boat. After a perilous and long journey, they reconvene in the most expensive hotel in Calais.

In Paris, The Rangers are taken to the Presidential Suite in l'Arc de Triomphe, a gift from Brock. They head to Le Gazette Cor (sp?) to find Amélie Rose, but find an old overweight man who escapes and almost kills the entire party. After scaring his dog, Brutor, away, Bertie leaves the party to go on a solo adventure.

The Rangers head to Notre Dame and the catacombs beneath to investigate the disappearance of a few people who are mentioned in the notebook. The expedition goes terribly, however, as the whole party get lost, trapped, then killed one by one.

The Rangers wake up, healed, in an underground medical facility. Here, Bertie returns to them and they meet Mr. Ceiling, the Ordinateur who is controlling the European economy and every facet of the Parisian life. The Rangers decide that it needs to be stopped, and turn off the machine.

Briefly, the Rangers have their minds altered by Mr. Ceiling to make them believe that they have conquered the machine, but they realise that they are still under control of the Ordinateur. They return to the underground complex that Mr Ceiling lives in and turn off the machine once and for all. In another underground room, they find François Henri's workshop, where he designed The Simulacrum and Mr Ceiling. They destroy the blueprints and plans for both and return to a technologically-free Paris.